Our neighbors had a garage sale and Annie came home with the most fitting purchase for our little drama queen - a Barbie Princess crown!
She wore it all day every day - along with a big smile.
The fact that it was a little crooked was even more perfect!
It was a great opportunity to learn that if you are a princess you must act like a princess. This seemed to go much further than nagging at her to mind her manners.
She is immensely proud of her braces and her pretty new smile.
School has been more of a struggle this year. We have studied hard on reading comprehension and Math. Her teacher has been outstanding, getting Annie extra tutoring and even doing tutoring herself before and after school.
In the process of trying to help Charlie better with his ADHD, I have been reading a book that the counselors recommended. I think I also found Annie described in that book, realizing that Annie is a very "concrete, black-and-white" thinker. We call her our "Calendar Girl" because she knows everyone's birthday, and loves to keep track of important dates. A calendar is organized nicely into little boxes, but when it comes to more abstract word problems in Math, she has a hard time. Perhaps this will help us find more effective ways to help her learn.
Annie was probably the most influenced by her mom's lifestyle. When her mom partied with her friends, beer and "explicit" songs blaring, Annie loved the drama of it all. Our challenge is to channel her wonderful energy and spirit into more constructive avenues.
We are so pleased when our friends are around and demonstrate the same values. It helps the kids understand that Randy and I are not just mean old fuddy-duds, our friends tell them the same things. And they do listen! We overhear many little conversations and comments that let us know that they take these lessons to heart.
Keep up the good work, and keep us all in your thoughts and prayers.
Stephanie
ps - Remember how hard Marquel struggled in school last year? Her last progress report was all 90's with one 86. Prayer works!
HI Stephanie :) I enjoy hearing the steady progress and day to day life manifestations. As far as Annie witnessing all that garbage from her Mom it is good to remember that what she saw, heard, and understood is VERY different than if you or any other adult had been a concurrent witness. What children process, and how, and for what purpose creates a totally different understanding than what we would come up with.
ReplyDeleteThe best insight into all this is simply to ask her what she saw and heard and what she thought about it and WHY.
THEN the explanations from you, the lessons will have a grounding. "Annie, it seems that those adults were having fun in the way you understand fun EXCEPT, none of those were kids. On the outside it may look like fun to you, as children become excited over new toys and games and such, but children have fun WITHOUT doing drugs or getting HIGH. Children's fun is real to them but the kind of 'fun' you witnessed actually is FAKE because to get those feelings the adults actually have to DESTROY part of being a person inside, and thAT 'fun' they have doesn't have the same longlasting meaning. Annie, when you grow up, life becomes less and less about fun and more and more about ENJOYMENT. Enjoyment is different than fun. it's a lot more pleasurable because it comes from growing as a good person and appreciating more about the good and beautiful things of life, and things you work hard to do, kindnesses you are able to show to others, and such and such. ie lets say you work very hard and become a lawyer one day. You go out to celebrate, dance, even a a drink or two to appreciate the fine wine but not to get drunk. You are rejoicing in what you have earned for yourself, and what you earn doesn't disappear after the drug high wears off. People come to celebrate your accomplishments too, and their appreciation is real, not someone who just wants to mooch another bottle of beer...
It's not that i want to talk smack about your Mom, but that I would be wrong not to explain to you the different meanings of what your eyes have seen. Judge for yourself whether I HAVE TOLD YOU THE TRUTH. We never gain anything from running from the truth, but we should always try to see things as they really are. One day, you may meet your Mom, and you will be a lovely young lady, and YOUR responses to her WILL BE from BEING that lady. Her responses to you will from from the kind of person she has made herself to be.
You need to understand that. The one thing no one should make us feel badlY about is the goodness in us and the good we accomplish. No one has a right to do that to you whether it is Mom or anyone....