Long Overdue Update!

2010 has been a hectic year so far! 

January 15th was Charlie's 8th birthday.  His father had a party for him at their house. 

Birthdays always remind us of the first time we met the kids.  Charlie was 3 years old and so traumatized he was unable to talk.  He ran and ran and ran, seemingly trying to run off his trauma.  As the days progressed he found his voice, but it was in the form of argueing with his sister, along with kicking and hitting. 

Over the last 5 years we have begun to peel back the layers.  The trauma of the hurricane was only the top layer.  The traumas of abuse, neglect and abandonment by his mom are the bigger and deeper problems for Charlie.

We can look back and see how far he has come, and yet realize how far he has to go.  He will likely spend the rest of his life learning to overcome and cope.  He is amazingly smart, sometimes much older than his 8 years, and sometimes more like a toddler.  Every week we take the kids to counseling, a long trip and hours of time, but we feel we must do everything we can to help them. 

February 4th was a big day for Chip.  After 4 years of constant sinus infections we finally talked his doctor into a referral to a ENT specialist and he finally had his tonsils and adenoids removed.  Randy dropped Chip and I off at the hospital at 6:30 that morning, then went to get Turk and get the other kids off to school.  As we waited, Chip asked me several times, "Can we go home now?"  He entertained the other kids and parents waiting their turn by singing and dancing in his little hospital gown.

The doctor advised keeping Chip inside for at least a week, so he came home with us following his surgery.  He was a very good little patient.  He refused jello, ice cream and popsicles, wanting soft toast and cereal instead.  After a couple of days of refusing to eat or drink, we coaxed him with dimes for his cup.  Finally the threat of having to go back to the hospital if he did not drink some water did the trick.  We hope the sinus infections are a thing of the past, and we are sure he will feel better than he ever has.

A while back we tried a new gimic to encourage the kids with good grammer and manners by giving them a dime for their cup.  At the end of the month they can spend what they have earned.  Having money to spend is a big deal to the kids, so this gives them the opportunity to earn it while we try to help them learn good habits.  Each time they add a dime to their cup they have to recount how many they have.  Even if they have only a dollar or two at the end of the month, they have fun picking out some little toy at the dollar store.

With achievement test time approaching, we are spending every weekend with Annie working on Math.  Annie loves to read and learn, but somewhere there is a disconnect with Math problems, and it is now our challenge to figure out how to help her learn.  I'm not sure what we can do that her 2 math tutors at school can't do, but we keep working on it!

Marquel's counselor transferred to another position, so we have been forced to make the decision of finding a good counselor for her or give up on counseling.  Not willing to give up, we think we have found a great new counselor, but it will be self pay.  Do we give her the best we can, or search for another counselor who accepts Medicaid?  We chose to give her the best we could.  At the age of 12, we feel we are running out of time to make a big difference for her in her ability to cope with her disrupted life.  A new counselor will mean another trip into town and hours on the road, but how much is this precious girl worth? 

Once again we are so thankful for all of you willing to give us financial support for the kids and what they need.  We have been given a mission and to do less than we are able is just not acceptable.  If you want to know how you can help with a tax-deductible donation, click here.

Until next time. . .
Stephanie

Christmas 2009

What a fun Christmas the kids had! 

We left Friday evening, December 18th.  By the time one movie ended, the kids were asleep.

Saturday morning we arrived in Beatrice, Nebraska.  Randy's sister and husband met us there later in the day.  They wanted to go their home church on Sunday.  While we waited for Deb and Bryce to arrive, Randy drove out to the home place, past his church and stopped at the cemetery to say Merry Christmas to his dad.
When Randy got back in the car Chip asked Randy, "Did you find him?"  What a sweetie!

At the hotel the kids were elated to find that they could go swimming in an indoor pool even though it was snowing outside!

After church on Sunday we spent some time with Randy's Aunt Grace and his cousins, Joan and Diane and Jr.  What fun they had playing games and doing puzzles.  I think they are beginning to understand family relations and how special they can be. 

Monday and Tuesday was spent playing in the snow.  There was just enough to make for perfect sledding!  After a few trips down on the saucers, it was packed and slick enough for going down on their stomachs.  I sat on the enclosed, heated sun porch and laughed and laughed at their fun.

Wednesday brought wind and snow - an old fashioned blizzard.  With wind gusts up to 50 mph, we stayed inside and played games. This lasted until Saturday evening when it snowed so hard that we could not see to the next block!

Christmas morning FINALLY came! 

Some favorite gifts were: 

Spongebob pajamas

A new Nutcracker for Marquel's collection

A Dallas Cowboy shirt

New dolls

Special ornaments for their Christmas tree

Chip would say "oh, that's what I've been looking for!"

We spent time with Randy's mom at the nursing home, played games, read books, played more games, watched movies, played more games - and had a great time.

On Sunday we ventured out to see the snow.  The snowplows piled snow in the middle of intersections (that is me at the bottom of the hills and a 2 story building in the right back!)

This is our 3rd Christmas in Nebraska with the kids.  They are finally resigned to "bundling up" before they go outside.

Marquel helped shovel snow for several hours - and loved it.  We don't know how much snow we got from Wednesday through Saturday, but this picture of Bryce and the snowblower give you an idea.  We figured at least 15 inches on top of what they already had!

Randy's sister had the kids working on a surprise project.  All we could figure was that it had something to do with hands, because she asked Randy to take this picture of the kids.  At the school they worked on a really neat calender with pictures made with hand prints for each month.  It is a very special gift that can be re-used from year to year.

So from us and the kids - Thank you so much and Happy New Year!

Randy and Stephanie, Marquel, Annie, Charlie and Chip

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

This year has gone by so fast and this holiday season has been too hectic!  School work, Christmas play practice and Science Fair Projects have occupied the last few weekends.

Marquel's Science Fair Project turned out nice.  She made lollipops and learned about different types of sugar and the chemical composition and interactions that make candy turn hard.  It was due December 15th, which is really bad timing for those of us who have to do these things on weekends, but we managed to get it done.  It seems she came in at 4th place out of her class, so we are really happy for her.

Last Sunday the kids had their Christmas program at church.  Randy and I had tears in our eyes as we watched Chip sing "loud and proud" with his group of little Angels.  Annie and Charlie sang in the kids choir.  This was Annie's chance to sing in church, something she has been begging us to do!  They looked so cute in their new church clothes. 

Sharon did an awesome job taking pictures of the play.  You can view them here and more pictures with Santa here.  Even Marquel took her turn on Santa's lap, although she tugged at our hearts when she told Santa she would like her Mom for Christmas.  One day she will understand, and in the meantime she prays every night for God to watch over her mom.

When we see the kids enjoying these things it always makes us think of the condition they were in when we picked them up in New Orleans.  To see them happy and thriving reminds us how thankful we are for your support.

Friday the 18th we leave for our annual trek to Nebraska for Christmas with Randy's family.  A couple weeks ago they got over 10" of snow, so we are looking forward to sledding and snowball fights!

In case we don't have a chance to say it in person,
Merry Christmas and Thank You for all your love and support this year!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Randy and Stephanie, Turk and the kids

New! "My Travel Book"

New Book ~ just in time for holiday travel.

Learn about the United States while playing the license plate game.

106 pages in full color!

Maps, facts, trivia, activities and more.

Hours of fun for you and your kids.

Click here to order

Happy Thanksgiving!

At this time of year we want to let you all know how much we appreciate everything you do for "our kids".  This is a mission that we feel was "assigned" to us and many others.  We could not do what we do without all of you.  We have been blessed not only by the kids and their progress but by getting to know so many wonderful people along the way.

Last weekend Marquel was invited to a party hosted by several of the girls in her 6th grade Sunday School class.  One of the mom's asked me if it would be ok, and said her girls were really enjoying getting to know Marquel.  I was so thrilled it brought tears to my eyes. 

This event brought to mind several challenges that the kids face.  With their mother in the Projects of New Orleans, time was of no real meaning.  They ate when there was food and slept wherever they happened to be.  Even though their Father was more middle class for New Orleans, time is still an issue.  A few weeks ago I told him I would pick the kids up around 7:00pm.  I arrived at their house at 7:05 and their car was gone.  About 10 minutes later they pulled up with a gallon of milk.  Since the grocery store is only 2 blocks away, I knew they had left around the time I told them I would be there.  The one clock in their house is usually not on the correct time, something we find quite unsettling for our lifestyle.  We have learned to always call him when we are on our way! 

The kids have finally figured out that breakfast is in the morning, lunch is in the middle of the day, and supper (or to confuse things more "dinner") is in the evening.  Leaning to tell time has taken several years for Marquel to master, and she has become our daily "planner". 

Parties with friends might be expected with most girls, but for Marquel it truely was a monumental event. She thoroughly enjoyed herself and we are so thankful that she was included in the fun.

Marquel's party was to be from 5:00pm to 9:00pm.  Her first concern was what time we had to leave our house in order for her to be there at exactly 5:00.  Then we complicated things further for her by saying we would take the other kids to family movie night at church and that movie did not start until 7:00pm.  We finally had to assure her that we would get her there on time and pick her up at 9:00, no earlier and no later. 

For all she has been through, Marquel seems to be comfortable and confident with herself.  We are so thankful to her friends who invited her to join their fun.

Another issue quickly came to light as Annie wondered how she would manage for a few hours without Marquel.   Annie feels rather insecure when Marquel is not close by.  At our house their bunk beds are head to head, but at their house they sleep together in the same bed.  If Annie is at our house by herself she quickly becomes bored.  When Marquel talks about going to a different school for high school or college, we can sense Annie's anxiety.

We know that as they experience these situations they will become more comfortable with them.   These little lessons are harder to learn than for most kids who grow up with schedules and a feeling of security.

As I looked for a recent picture of Marquel, I ran across pictures of her when we first met them.  How little she was and how tall she is getting!

Happy Thanksgiving to each and every one of you!

Randy, Stephanie, Marquel, Annie, Charlie and Chip

Poverty & Welfare - Myths, Misconceptions and Facts

With Thanksgiving approaching, I began thinking of the big meal and fun day we were planning with friends.  How much we have to be thankful for!

I recently had the opportunity to listen to two ladies discuss their opinions on poverty.  One lady worked for Family Services for years and understood the challenges and issues of people living in poverty.  The other lady was quite judgmental and had some very disparaging remarks.  It was an enlightening experience.

Over the past few years we have learned more than we ever thought we would need to know about "welfare".  We had a lot of misconceptions. 

One of the biggest lessons we have learned is that we must be able to put ourselves in someone else's shoes in order to help them.  This is not an easy thing to do.

When Mr. Thornton agreed to take on the responsbility of his wife's 4 children, we knew he needed help with expenses.  Our system is sometimes very unfair.  Mr. Thornton receives a small Social Security check and also Social Security Disability due to a very serious injury.  His disability check is $125 a month, certainly not something he can live on.  And, it denies him the right to have a job.  He is not a lazy person, and he would much rather be working if he could.  

Since he had never applied for any kind of assistance, we took him to the "Welfare" office to apply for food stamps.  What a humbling experience that was (and continues to be).  Finding where to go was our first challenge, then we filled out pages and pages of forms in triplicate, then we waited - and waited - and waited.  When we ask how much longer we need to wait, the girl behind the desk looks over her glasses and gives us a curt reply.  This trip takes most of a day, and then we must wait up to 30 days for an approval letter. 

In Texas the maximum amount alloted on food stamps is about $125 per person.  Could you feed your family on that?  Would you be able to purchase the most nutritious food?  Thankfully Mr. Thornton knows how to cook beans, rice, and other nutrious foods that go a long way.  Many people do not know how to do this.

Food stamps are for food items only.  You cannot purchase other necessities.  There is no monthly cash payment.  If you apply for Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF), this federally funded program allows a one time cash payment of $1,000 (or it can be spread over 6 monthly payments). 

If a family's total income is low enough (we have not been able to asertain the exact amount, but it is somewhere around $5,000 yearly income), the family can receive Medicaid.  This is a state run health insurance program.

Applications for food stamps and Medicaid must be completed every six months for on-going assistance.

According to the San Antonio Food Bank many people who qualify for food stamps do not apply.  I encourage you to take their Hunger 101 exercise and get just a tiny taste of what it takes to get assistance.  This is not for the meek and mild!

As I was working on this blog last night, PBS had a special on Hunger in America.  One of their guests was the director of the San Antonio Food Bank.  They have seen a marked increase in applications for assistance due to the economy.  They have also experienced a drop in donations, as they rely mostly on private food drives.  He stated that previous donors are now asking for assistance.  Hunger is at an all time high in America. 

The last time you had the opportunity to participate in a food drive did you contribute?  Did you dig to the back of your pantry for the oldest can of food or the box that was a year out of date?

Many of those who qualify for Medicaid do not use it.  This is a result of generational lifestyles.  If you had never gone to the doctor or dentist as a child, would you understand the importance of taking your own children?  It is a very cumbersome system, and one which Mr. Thornton would not be able to navigate on his own.

We are extremely thankful that "our kids" qualify for Medicaid.  We make sure they get their yearly checkups and dentist appointments.  They are learning what they will need to do for their own children someday, and in the process breaking the cycle of poor health.  Medicaid covers mental health issues, and we would be in big trouble without the counselors and doctors who treat the Post Traumatic Stress, issues of abuse and neglect, and ADHD symptoms.

Are there some who abuse the system?  Of course.  There are those who will find a way.  But the next time we are tempted to be critical of those who receive "welfare", we need to be sure that we really understand the issues.  And we need to ask ourselves, what are we personally doing to make the situation better for future generations?

Until next time. . .
Stephanie

Catching Up!

The first 9 weeks of school were very successful for the kids. Marquel had only one C in Social Studies, but we think that is more due to reading comprehension. Annie struggles a little with Math, but she has a Math tutor. Charlie got all A's and B's and comes home almost every day with E for Excellent behavior - amazing! Chip is getting used to going to school and Pre-K has been good for him. He is speaking more clearly and his social skills have improved.

Charlie got a ribbon for AB Honor Roll and all except Annie got ribbons for Good Citizenship. Annie's teacher this year is more no-nonsense, which is good, but it has been a learning curve for Annie! She had an "Awesome" for last week's behavior, so she is improving.

Halloween was great fun for the kids, and they got lots of it. Marquel is 12, but not willing to give up a costume and candy! They had Fall Festival party at church, Halloween party at our neighbors house, and Trick-or-Treating on Halloween with our friend Teresa. We don't mind spending a little on costumes because they get lots of use and lots of memories for these kids who had so little.


We decided the kids had progressed enough that we could try taking them to Sunday School with them on a regular basis. Marquel is in a class with just 6th graders and an awesome couple who leads the class. She is really enjoying the class and has made some great new friends. They have invited her to a party, and she is SOOOO excited!

This year has gone by so fast and Christmas will be here soon. If you would like to sponsor one of the kids for Christmas, please let me know. They don't ask for much, but they do have a few needs and wants.

Until next time . . .
Stephanie