Kids, Weather Fronts and Sensitive Ears

A while back when Charlie was out of control one morning, I turned on some classical music to see if it would help calm him down.  It didn't, and soon he was complaining "that music hurts my ears".

A few evenings ago we started on a home improvement project and we were using a Dremel saw, which makes a loud, high pitched noise.  The longer we had to use it, the louder Charlie got, humming, singing, chanting, louder and louder.  I knew it must be hurting his little ears.

While visiting with the Special Ed teacher at Charlie's school, she mentioned her room was always busier if a weather front was coming through. 

Yesterday morning Charlie keyed in on the news that there might be storms during the day.  I tried head off his apprehension by talking about what to do if he got scared at school.  First thing he did upon arriving home from school was pull up WeatherBug on his computer.  "Still shows storms," he commented.

As the evening progressed his noise level went up.  The constant humming, singing, chanting and noise making began to hurt my ears.  As the noise level went up, so did his level of defiance and disrespectful behavior.  Even his new pet turtle was hiding under a piece of lettuce floating in his bowl!  Thinking he was overly tired, I finally told him it was time to get into bed, but then he complained about the clock ticking too loudly (this is the same clock that has been in their room for 3 years!)

Randy left his council meeting early to come home and help Charlie calm down.  As he drove he could see thunderclouds and lightening in the East.  It was one of those "Ah-ha!!" moments.

Did the weather front and barometric pressure affect Charlie's ears?  Because he seemed more interested in the weather report, did he feel it coming?  With the front passing through, he woke up this morning calm and cooperative again.

Always something new to learn - next time we'll pay more attention to the weather forecast!

Until next time . . .
Stephanie

First Week of School

It has been a busy week and we are all tired!  I feel bad when I have to wake Charlie up at 6:00am in order to take his medicine that takes a while to start working.  He has done pretty well in his new school.  We hope it continues.  He makes friends easily and has an awesome teacher.

His first football game is Saturday morning and he has to be there at 7:00am!  He has had 2 scrimmages with other teams this week, and he really got a workout.  He is so good and so fast that he is playing Running Back on the offense and Safety on the defense.  Last night we noticed a little more team spirit, and found out after the game he had been appointed Team Captain. 

When Charlie came to live with us in February he was barely eating.  We had a "weigh in" every Monday morning to encourage him to gain.  One week he lost 4 ounces and was very upset that he had eaten some of Mr. Randy's "diet" popcorn.  He was convinced that it made him loose weight.  Over the last month he has gained 3 pounds!  Football has given him an appetite.


Saturday update:  Introducing the new Quarterback!  Randy heard one of the coaches say "We need to get it to the fastest guy as quickly as possible".  I guess that is Charlie!

He did extremely well at his first game.  They did not win the game, but Charlie made several key plays, both running the ball and chasing the opponent down to tackle him.  He played the whole game, offense and defense without a break.

We are getting into a comfortable routine now with Charlie.  His brother and sisters are not at our house this weekend (long story), and while he misses seeing them, we had a really nice day with him.  When he laughs his hearty, genuine laugh he is the cutest thing.  It is beginning to feel like he is truly ours and I can't imagine him not being here.

Marquel joined her 7th grade basketball team at ML King Academy in San Antonio.  She is very good.  At her first scrimmage with another school she scored 6 of the 18 points for her team.  We had to insist that she be allowed to play (practice is until 5:30 every school day).  She is good and it is a good thing for her to be involved in for many reasons.

Chip and Annie are doing great as well.  Annie gets lots of praise for stepping up to do chores around the house that used to be Marquel's responsibility.  She is a master escape artist when it comes to chores!  Chip is just cute and happy most of the time.

Thanks to all of you, this is possible for these kids.

Until next time . . .
Stephanie

Summer Activities

Randy's sister came to visit in June and Charlie went back to Nebraska with her for about 3 weeks.  Charlie was a little confused that there was no snow in Nebraska, where had it all gone since Christmas?!  He got to fly on a plane, go to the zoo, go swimming almost every day, and get lots of spoiling.

We met them in Oklahoma City for a cousins reunion and to bring Charlie home.  He thoroughly enjoyed an afternoon at the Science Museum.  He was a little annoyed that his vacation was over and was probably quite happy to get me on this Bed of Nails!

 While we were out of town, Marquel spent a long weekend with friends from church so that she could attend a Volleyball clinic.

Annie and Marquel's summer treat was going to Camp Chrysalis for a week.   They really enjoy hiking, swimming, canoeing, fishing and making new friends.

The last weekend of July was another cousins reunion, this time in Nebraska.  We took Charlie and Annie.  They are seasoned travelers now, and do fine on the long trips if they have enough movies, electronic games and most importantly - snacks. 

We left for Nebraska late in the afternoon, when Charlie's medicine is wearing off and his appetite returning.  He and Annie ate until all the sandwiches and snacks were gone!  At this point Annie always goes into panic mode worrying about what snacks we will have for the ride home.  I don't know if she will ever get over the fear that there may not be enough food, and always likes to know there is more waiting when she needs it.

Annie and Charlie made friends with new "cousins" in their new extended family.  Randy's great grandfather homesteaded in Nebraska, so we took the kids to theHomestead Museum where they learned about pioneer life and earned their Junior Ranger certificate.    

 

Charlie started football practice.  We felt this would be a therapeutic thing for him to learn to be a good teammate, learning respect for coaches and other kids, in addition to good exercise.  He seems to be a natural at it, and was assigned the Running Back position since he is so quick and agile.

I can't believe it is already August and time to think about getting ready for school again!  Time to try on all the school uniforms from last year to see what still fits and shop for new uniforms and a good pair of school shoes for each.  There are organizations that provide free "gently used" uniforms, however the rigmarole required to apply, the hours required and the miles driven did not prove very profitable.

A huge Thank You to Community in Schools for helping out with the school supplies again this year.  Please consider donating a few school supplies to this organization!  They have been a tremendous help to us and the kids over the last 5 years.

And a big Thank You for cash donations to help pay for the uniforms and shoes- you know who you are!

If you would like to help support this ongoing mission, Click Here. . .

Until next time. . .
Stephanie

5th Anniversary of Hurricane Katrina approaching . . .

When Chip turned 5 years old on July 24th, it reminded us that the 5th anniversary of the storm was approaching.  Chip was only 4 weeks old when Katrina turned their world upside down. 

It has been great fun to watch him grow.  He is always smiling, singing and dancing.  I called him "Gumby" one day because he can move his body in any direction ~ but the kids don't know who Gumby is!




I hear some of the news channels advertising specials for the 5th Anniversary of Hurricane Katrina.  I am sure they will focus on positive; how New Orleans has rebounded to it's former vibrant life.

Lives have been changed forever, for better or for worse.  The experts say that Post Traumatic Stress never goes away, it only lays dormant and resurfaces at unexpected times.  For those who have not been able to return to their homes, life has had to start over in every way imaginable.

For Mr. Thornton it meant not only the loss of everything he owned, but also the loss of his income.  At the age of now 72, his income is minimal Social Security and SSI (Social Security Disability) due to an injury he sustained several years before Katrina.   SSI is a catch 22 for some people.  It provides a small amount of cash, but it does qualify him for Medicaid which combined with Medicare means that his medical bills are all paid for the most part.  It also pays him a small amount (less then $100 total each month) in benefits for the kids.  But, it denies him the right to hold any kind of job, even one that he could do with his disability. 

When Mrs. Thornton left and subsequently asked him to take care of her kids, he knew he did not have the income to take care of them.  Rent alone would take most of his SS and SSI checks, and he did not qualify for any rental assistance.  Then there is food and clothes and necessities for himself and four growing kids.

Because Mr. Thornton was willing to take in his wife's kids and because we knew his financial situation, we told him we would help in any way possible, although we had no idea how we would find a way.  We applied to every possible agency, but he did not qualify for one reason or another.  The only option he might have would be to give up his SSI and find a job.  Putting pen to paper quickly demonstrated how futile that option would be.

If he gave up the SSI, he would lose Medicaid and food stamps for himself and the kids.  Medical expenses for 4 kids who have various health and emotional problems is a huge benefit alone.  Food stamps certainly help, although it is not really enough to feed four growing kids.  Then there would be the cost of day care if he had to work while the kids were not in school.  It would take a great paying job with good health insurance benefits to offset what he would lose.  

Considering for a moment that he could find such a job, who would be willing to watch these four kids with emotional and developmental problems.  Having worked around day care providers, I knew that they would not do well in that situation and it would be an on-going problem to find someone to watch them.  He and the kids would be much better off with him at home to help them overcome these problems.

When we agreed to help him in any way that we could, we knew this would be a long term project.  Mr. Thornton will be 85 years old when Chip graduates from high school.  We have seen the toll that the stress has taken on him over the last 5 years.  We hope and pray that he will be around to see these kids grow up.

We would hate to see Marquel forced into a position of supporting or even supplementing the household income as she gets into high school.  We realize that worse things have happened to kids, but don't we really want her to be able to go to college and have a career that will give her the prospect of a bright future without the burden of being mother and income earner for the family? 

As this anniversary of Katrina comes and goes, my fear is that those who still struggle will be forgotten.  Mr. Thornton has been able to care for these kids and give them a good home due to the generosity of so many of you.  If it were not for all of you, where would he go?  He could probably fend for himself, but what about the kids, where would they be?

I wish I could remember who it was, someone who had come from a very poor background and made a good life for himself, said "it is great to tell people they should pull themselves up by their bootstraps - but first they must have a pair of boots". 

You are providing the boots.

Thank you to each and every one for all you do!

Until next time. . .

Stephanie

A New Do. . .

Randy's sister, "Miss Debbie" came to visit for about 10 days.  The kids love Miss Debbie and she is fun to have around.  We are looking forward to the day when she and her husband bring their RV down for the winter.

While Deb was here she took Marquel to get a new hairdo at a real salon.  We happened to find the perfect place and she was pleased with the results.    Every woman feels better when they feel like their hair looks good, and it is time for Marquel to start learning how to do her own styling.

Annie and Marquel went to Camp Chrysalis on Sunday.   In the car the girls were talking about swimming at camp and that they would have to take a swim test if they wanted to go in the deep water.

When the kids talk among themselves and get excited the New Orleans accent takes over.  We have to laugh to ourselves as we listen to them.  As the girls talked about swimming at camp, Marquel said, "I told that lifeguard guy my mom told me not to be going in the deep water."  She was giggling as she continued, "That night I payed 'Dear Lord, I'm sorry, I had to do it'."

I had to turn my head so she wouldn't see me laughing.   We love to hear Marquel giggle and the little insight into her thoughts was enlightening.


A few months ago we were forced to find a new counselor for Marquel.  As she becomes a teenager, we feel we are in a race against time to help her work through the multitude of issues she faces.  Her new counselor suggested that because Marquel doesn't like long conversations, we use "bullet points" to get ideas across and to listen closely for little tidbits of information that will tell us how she is feeling or what she is thinking.  This was a "tidbit".

Marquel's new counselor has been awesome and since she does not take Medicaid, we appreciate the continued financial support we receive from so many of you.  We feel this precious girl needs every opportunity she can get to have a happy and productive life.

We continue to learn and realize how much we have yet to learn about how to help these kids through their layers of abuse, neglect and trauma.  At times it is very frustrating and we wonder if we are doing the right things.  Then we are rewarded with a hug from Annie or a genuine giggle from Marquel.  We sometimes wonder "why us" and then we say "thank you for these precious kids".

Thank you to all for your continued support.

Until next time . . .
Stephanie

May Birthdays and School Awards

May has been a very busy month.  Annie turned 11 on May 4th

 and Marquel turned 13 on May 19th.















There are only two weeks of school left and the girls are ready for summer vacation.



Last night the school had an award ceremony and they were insistent that Marquel should be there.  The awards were sponsored by the San Antonio Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority.  They gave 5 awards for Most Improved Academic Skills, Most Improved Attendance, Best Citizenship, Perfect Attendance and Most Outstanding Student.

Marquel received the award for Most Improved Academic Skills!

What a remarkable achievement for a little girl who did not attend school before she came to San Antonio courtesy of Hurricane Katrina.  Her first school year in San Antonio was hit and miss as her mother did not appreciate education.  Repeating 3rd grade was a struggle.  In order to do a math problem we had to go back to 1st grade math and work up so that she could do each problem.  Weekends were spent doing Math and Math and more Math.

(Randy apologizes for the poor quality picture.  

We did not know about this until 3pm on Friday 

so he took the picture with his phone.) 

Thanks to great teachers, wonderful friends and her own desire to learn, she made it through.  I'll never forget walking into her school when the results were in for her 5th grade Math test.  Her teacher was beaming as she told me that Marquel had some good news for me.

I don't know that Marquel really understands what you all have done for her, but I want you all to know that your love and support have helped bring her from failing 3rd grade to the AB Honor Roll and awards such as Most Improved (we think she probably qualified for Perfect Attendance as well!).
 
People tell us what a wonderful thing we are doing, but we want you all to know that we could not do this without each and every one of you.  Everyone has their own talents to give;  time, money, or love and support, each of which helps us help them.


Until next time . . .

Stephanie & Randy & kids

Summer Planning

Only two months of school left! This year Annie has struggled with Math. We have worked on math every weekend and her teacher has given her extra tutoring after school, even driving her home! Now that is really going the extra mile.

Keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer that Annie will pass her Math TAKS test the last week of April. She needs to pass this test in order to go to 5th grade next fall.

With summer approaching we are making plans already. Annie and Marquel will go to Camp Chrysalis again. They will be going on scholarship, for which we are really grateful. It is the highlight of their summer and they sing the songs and tell the stories they heard all year long. This experience with other Christian kids and counselors is invaluable to them.

Charlie will be spending a week or two with Randy’s sister, Miss Debbie. He is not yet mature enough to go to Camp Chrysalis.

Last summer we signed all four of the kids up for swimming lessons. They love to be in the water, and we felt they should at least know the basics of swimming. It was a huge hit. Annie has decided she wants to be on the Olympic team some day. They would all like to learn more about swimming this summer.

Charlie would like to be on a sport team. The next registration will be for football. It would be an excellent experience for him to learn a sport along with good sportsmanship and social skills.

The cost of swimming lessons is $50 per child. Football registration costs $170 for regular or $100 for flag, plus the cost of shoes and the transportation to games.

If you would like to sponsor or help sponsor one of the kids sports, please let me know. You may make a tax deductible donation to the Thornton Family Fund (click on the link and scroll down to Cash Donations to St. John Lutheran Church).

As always, your continued support is so very much appreciated!

Until next time. . .
Stephanie