"Trouble the Water" on HBO

Last summer we saw this movie in the theatre. We had heard that it created a lot of buz at Sundance, won several awards, and was a Best Documentary nominee for an Academy Award. So we went out of curiosity more than anything.

It is the story of one couple with their video camera, capturing what came along for them during Hurricane Katrina. The raw footage is revealing and their calm spirits during those horrific days is uplifting.

We came away from this movie moved by the tenacity of the people, disturbed by some of the events that they captured, and uplifted by this couple's enormous desire to get their life back. We were also saddened at their loss, not only of home and belongings, but of their entire community, which to them was their extended family in many ways.

This movie will be shown on HBO on Thursday, April 23rd at 8:30 PM ET/PT

http://www.troublethewaterfilm.com

I thought you might like to know, and be able to watch it if you so desire. I do recommend it!

Until next time!

Stephanie

"Trouble the Water" a documentary

Last weekend we went to Austin to view a documentary on Hurricane Katrina called "Trouble the Water". I wasn't sure what to expect or what emotions we might come away with.

As the movie ended, the people in the theatre sat in silence as the credits rolled. Were they interested in all the participants in the movie, or were they experiencing the profound sadness that I felt?

Filmed by a New Orleans native with a newly purchased used video camera, the story is told by Kim and her husband as they record the events going on around them. Their ability to remain calm as the water rose chest deep around their home, their generosity in hoisting neighbors into their attic, the neighbor who helped them escape to higher ground, and their upbeat attitude sprinkled with humor at their situation made the movie. We recognized the accent and lingo that "our kids" use.

The most poignant part was when they managed to trudge through the water to dry ground and found themselves in front of a naval base that was partially closed. The housing units at the base were no longer being used, but the guard at the gate immediately called for backup. With guns pointed at them, they asked if they could spend the night, and when they were refused, they asked if the women and children would be allowed in. Again, they were refused. President Bush later sent the base a letter of commendation for "diffusing a potentially dangerous situation".

After finding their way to Memphis, they were unable to find jobs that paid a living wage. Not really wanting to return to New Orleans, they had no place else to go. Kim's husband got a job working for a contractor and was thrilled to be learning a new trade and earning a wage that allowed him to feel like a productive member of society again.

Kim's mother died when she was young of aids resulting from her drug habits, and Kim was determined to live a life that her mother and grandmother would be proud of. The movie features several of Kim's original songs, sung in rap style but with words that were upbeat and optimistic, yet telling her story of her struggles in life.

Currently this movie is being shown in limited cities, but if you have a chance to see this award winning film, please make an effort to do so. Like the movie advertisement says, "It's not about a hurricane. It's about America."

Learn more and check movie locations at: www.troublethewaterfilm.com

Until next time!
Stephanie

Poverty and Education

Please pray for Marquel as she begins taking her TAKS (Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills) achievement tests. Her 4th grade tests will cover Reading, Language/Grammer and Math. Passing these tests is a requirement for proceeding to the next grade level.

Marquel has had a tough time in school. Randy and I were completely unaware of "Generational Poverty" and how the rules of poverty apply to children and education. What an education we have had! Let me explain:

When Marquel came to San Antonio following Hurricane Katrina, she had just started 3rd grade. The shelter quickly threw together a school for the kids, but after a week they moved to Camp Promise (where we met them), and school was interuppted again as arrangements were made for registration and transportation to the closest school district. After a month at this school, the family moved into their new home in San Antonio, and another school transfer was made. By this time, over 2 months of precious and important school time had elapsed.

With the family settled in their new home, Randy and I backed away for the most part, allowing the family to regroup and begin a new life. The girls were enrolled in school, Marquel in 3rd grade and Annie in 1st grade.

One day we stopped by their house and the kids were not in school. Asking them why, one of them said, "Mom has a headache." Looking over at Mom, she nodded her head in acknowledgement and I realized "headache" really meant "hangover".

School became more and more sporadic, and we began to realize that mom's lifestyle was paramount, and education for her children was far down on her priority list. When Randy and I learned about "Generational Poverty" we realized that there were really 2 reasons for Mom's way of thinking: 1) What Mom wants (more beer) and needs (plenty of party time) is the most important thing on her agenda for any given day; and 2) Education for her children is not important for 2 reasons: a) she cannot perceive her children to be smarter than she is, as that is a threat to her Matriarchal position, and b) there is no thought about the future or belief that an education can ultimately be a bridge out of poverty (there is no comprehension of any other way of life, so there is no point in to education. After all, Mom can function quite well in her world).

May 5, 2006, Mom took the kids back to New Orleans with her. There was no thought of checking them out of school, because there was no thought of enrolling them in school in New Orleans. A month later, when Mom allowed us to come get the girls one of Marquel's first questions as she climbed into our car was, "Am I going to go to school tomorrow?" The look of excited anticipation quickly turned to disappointment as I explained that school was over for the year.

August, 2006 - When we went to enroll the girls in school we learned that Marquel had not passed her 3rd grade TAKS tests and too many days of school had been missed the prior year. Marquel and Annie were both required to repeat 3rd grade and 1st grade, respectively.

This was a hard pill for Marquel to swallow, and it took Annie most of the school year to figure out that she wasn't in 2nd grade. As the school year progressed it became clear that Annie was doing exceptionally well, loving school and learning quickly. Marquel was having a harder time, and I spent as many hours on weekends as I could helping her study and review for her tests.

One day I said something to her about 1st and 2nd grade in New Orleans (before Katrina). "I didn't go to school in New Orleans," she said. When Charlie was elaborating about something fun he had done in Kindergarten class, Annie said wistfully, "I wish I could have gone to Kindergarten." We questioned the girls several times, but they had no memory of school in New Orleans.

Why this is, we are not sure. Did the trauma of the hurricane create memory lapses, or was it that school was not important to Mom, and therefore not important, and not even memorable to the girls? Was their life so focused on survival that school was secondary? Or was school more like a babysitting service than a focus on education?

Marquel passed her 3rd grade tests, much to our relief! She continues to work very hard, and we have made a more concentrated effort to study with her on a regular basis. Without the basics of 1st and 2nd grade, it makes 4th grade work much harder.

We are so very thankful for the Angels who have offered to tutor Marquel. Her session with Miss Margaret every Sunday is her own special time (the high school English teacher who lives across the road from us). Our friend, Teresa, comes on weekends and spends time helping her as well. The girls adores Miss Teresa, because she does all the "girly" things with them - like pretty smelling lotions and fingernail polish.

There are many more Angels: Randy's sister, Deb, who is a teacher and her friend Cec (too bad they live in Nebraska!), and everyone who gives the kids attention and encouragement. I don't think people really understand the profound effect that a few words can have to kids who look up to and adore them.

Several weeks ago we asked that you remember Marquel in your prayers as we worked with her therapist. I know the prayers were answered, as some of you have commented on how much she has blossomed in the last few weeks. She opens up to us a little more all the time, allowing us to help her work through her feelings and thoughts.

Please keep Marquel in your prayers as she takes her tests over the next few weeks. Ask that she will be able to remember what she has worked so hard to learn. We know that God has special plans for sweet, tender-hearted Marquel!

As always - thank you!

Stephanie
Learn more about Generational Poverty at http://www.ahaprocess.com/ I highly recommend "A Framework of Understanding Poverty" available in the book section. Click here for a preview used by permission.

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On Politics, Poverty and Hurricane Katrina Survivors

Today my Google Alert directed me to an article in the Washington Post titled For Katrina Evacuees, A Chance to Be Heard (click on underlined to read the article).

I was interested in reading both the article, and in particular, the comments left by readers. Articles such as this tend to bring out a lot of passion in the readers.

I feel so fortunate to have met Mr. Thornton, his friends and family. By knowing him, I am able to understand the after-effects of Hurricane Katrina much more clearly.

After reading some of the above referenced comments, I have a few comments of my own:

1) Meeting so many of the Hurricane Katrina evacuees, through Mr. Thornton and while sitting at various agencies, I have come to understand that the vast majority of them want a hand-up not a hand-out. All they desire is a way to start over and survive in a new and often hostile environment.

2) For those of us who live in a very mobile society, it may be hard to comprehend the community that was New Orleans. Families lived there for generations. Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and children all lived within a relatively short distance. This support system is incredibly powerful, comforting and supportive. All this was pulled from under their feet.

The loss of home and belongings is nothing in comparison to the loss of a support system. This disaster cannot be compared to other storms or hurricanes, or even other parts of the Gulf Coast that were affected by Katrina and Rita, in that many of these people cannot return to their homes to re-establish their life. In Mr. Thornton's case, his rental home in New Orleans is now being rented for several times what he paid. His family and friends are scattered across the country, and his job is gone.

Finding a new job was not feasible for Mr. Thornton. At the age of 70 and disabled, the laws work directly against him. We have searched to find any angle that would allow him to have an income, but to no avail. This is not his fault. There are loopholes for those who want to find them, and there are cracks in the system that is meant to be a safety net. Mr. Thrornton falls into those cracks.

3) Prejudice is alive and well. We see the looks, hear the comments and feel the attitudes. It comes from individuals, agencies, government, and prospective employers. At times I wonder how people like Mr. Thornton hold their heads up high and make a good life for themselves, in spite of the constant thumping over the head in an effort to push them back down. I have huge respect for him and so many others we have met.

4) Post Traumatic Stress is not something you just "get over". While we see the effects on his mind and health, we cannot comprehend the depth of the trauma. Sleep is difficult when every time he closes his eyes, the events play over and over like a horrifying movie. Lack of sleep leads to a host of other problems, on top of frustrations of starting a new life with nothing.

5) There were some who took advantage of the system. This is NOT true of every one! What is true is this: There are those who know how to rip off the system and will do it again and again - they are in every corner of this country and come with various skin colors.

These are just a few things to think about. There are also the politics of New Orleans, the lack of good schools, the lowest wages in the nation, the destruction of the wetlands and the neglected levies which allowed New Orleans to flood. It is hard to comprehend what this opression must feel like. Looking down our nose at other people is not going to lift them up, it is only going to push them down further.

I feel sorry for people who are quick to criticize as they show no willingness to learn to understand people who come from a different place, culture and way of life. To close our eyes, ears and heart is choosing to remain ignorant of what happens around us every day.

If we say we are Christians, or even comassionate, we will make an effort to understand those around us. Red or blue does not matter, what matters is what is in our heart.

Any comments?

Stephanie

Charlie and Time Out

Poor little Charlie. He has had such a hard time learning to behave. Yesterday someone asked him how old he was and he replied "15".

Yes, 5 going on 15!

His Kindergarten teacher is amazed at how smart he is, but because he talks incessently and likes to be the class clown, he comes home every day with a Red Face. We told him that when he came home with a Green Face for behaving well, we would celebrate. Last week he got 2 green faces!!

After months of trying every form of punishment we could think of, Charlie's counselor gave us a few hints on Time Out. There had been weekends at our house when he was in Time Out more than not, but the new methods seem to be working better.

Last night I sat in the yard swing with Annie and Charlie came along with a worm to tease Annie with. I asked Charlie if that was a nice thing or a mean thing, and he agreed that it was mean. I didn't have the timer handy for Time Out, so I let him go back to his play.

About 10 minutes later, Charlie came back and handed me the timer.

"What is this for?" I asked him.

"Because I teased Annie with the worm," he replied.

"So you think you need Time Out?" I asked him.

"Yes" he said, quite seriously.

"OK then, sit on that bench" I told him as I set the timer.

He sat there quietly until the timer rang, and as I sat there continuing my conversation with Annie, I couldn't believe what had just transpired.

Prior to the new Time Out techniques, we would send Charlie to a place in the hall, where he would sit until we let him up. We did not have a set amount of time, and when he got up we would talk to him about what he had done wrong. When we asked "what did you do wrong", he would tell us. When we asked "what should you have done", he would tell us. He knew what was right, he just couldn't make himself do it. Then we would give hugs and send him off to apologize and give hugs to whomever he had offended.

The counselor suggested that we send him to Time Out without talking about what he did wrong - he knew exactly what he had done wrong. Then we set timer - one of those old fashioned kind that you can hear ticking - for 5 minutes (one minute of each year of age).

If he fusses or messes around, we say "because you are not sitting quietly, I have to start the time over", and we set the timer back to 5 minutes. When the timer rings, he knows he can get up and go again.

Now, the counselor warned us that at first he would resist the new procedures, and boy was she right! Such simple little changes threw a wrench into his plan. He knew he would no longer get the hugs and extended attention that discussing what he had done wrong would bring. For the first couple of weeks he fussed and messed around, something he had not done previously.

After a couple of weeks he adjusted to the new routine, although he occasionally finds something to play with and suffers the consequences of having the timer re-started.

We really appreciate Charlie's Kindergarten teacher. She is patiently working with him and with us as we work on Charlie's behavior. All his little life has been nothing but trauma, but with the help of his teachers and counselors, a stable home environment and the love and affection of so many people, Charlie is coming around.

A couple of weeks ago, when Charlie came home with yet another Red Face, Randy asked him what he had done.

"They were doing numbers, and I already know my numbers," Charlie said. Yes, there may be times that he is a little ahead of the other kids in his class. But, he has to learn to control himself. If he does not learn now, it will be harder to learn as he grows older.

Charlie is so smart that he will be able to do anything he sets his mind to. If he can learn self-control now, he will have a much brighter future.

Thank you, Miss Catherine, for being another Angel to Charlie!

Stephanie