What a great Christmas we and the kids had together! Their Father wanted to go to New Orleans to visit his family, so we took the kids with us to Nebraska to visit Randy's family.
Generous gifts of books and DVD's came in very handy on the 14 hour car ride. When we stopped in Kansas to eat lunch, we got to have our first "ball fight with snow" as Annie put it. The look on Charlie's face when I picked up some snow and tossed it at him was priceless. The initial look of irritation quickly turned to a mixture of surprise and delight.
Arriving at Randy's sister's house, the kids jumped out and ran into the snow. Not really dressed for this, Charlie soon came back crying because his feet were so cold. The snow was deep enough to fall into his boots, so he took his boots off, and well, that didn't work too well!
Randy took Marquel with him to pick up the flowers for his mom's birthday party. Marquel had taken note of Deb's nativity set, and spotted more figurines in the shop. She picked up a little dark skinned angel who was holding a heart out in her hands and asked if she could buy it for Deb. Then she reached up on a shelf for another one. Randy helped her get it down and realized that it was a mother and daughter, reaching their arms towards each other. She wanted to get that one for me. It was very touching to receive this special gift from my new "daughter".
Chip made us all laugh when he put himself in time out. I had scolded him for getting M&M's out of Bryce's candy dispenser. He followed me up the stairs, walked down the hall and sat down. When I realized what he was doing, we all had a good chuckle.
Getting ready to spend some time in the cold and snow, I told the kids to put on the layers of pants, shirts and socks that I had packed for them. They thought I was really crazy! But when they came in, they said they were glad because they had stayed warm.
Randy's sister is a grade school teacher, so Deb went to the school to look through the lost and found for boots and snow pants for the kids. They came back all outfitted and ready for hours in the cold. They looked so cute all bundled up. The kids went down the hill behind Deb's house on their saucers, then ran back up the steep hill, over and over and over. After 4 or 5 hours, Deb would coax them to come inside. What a treat this was for the kids.
They learned to play Mexican Train Dominoes, and Annie was the champion as she figured out the strategy really quickly. I thought to myself that the kids Dora Dominoes that I had bought them as a Christmas present might be a little boring after playing the real thing!
One night as we played dominoes, Charlie got tired and curled up on the couch. Randy reminded him to say his prayers, and 5 year old Charlie recited the Lord's prayer perfectly all by himself. Deb had tears running down her face by the time he finished.
Dear friends Mardi and Gerry had told the kids to ask the Guaradian Angels to go with us on our trip. Each night the kids asked God to send the angels to watch over them, and to be with everyone they knew, naming them one by one.
Mardi told the kids the Christmas story in an animated, entertaining way. Each time we passed a nativity set, the kids would comment on what was missing - the angels or the shephards or the rich men who brought presents. They thoroughly enjoyed retelling the story.
There were so many new experiences; "Grandma" Ehmen's 90th birthday party at the nursing home, Christmas with Randy's brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews and all their kids, Deb and friend Cec helping the girls with their workbooks, hiding eggs and hunting them with cousin Dianne, and Charlie got to drive cousin Jr.'s really BIG farm tractor! Everyone doted on them and had great fun. What wonderful family time the kids got to experience for the first time. We hope we gave them some good memories.
We have lots of new Angels to add to our list. Click here to see pictures
A HUGE thank you to all who helped "our kids" have a wonderful Christmas!
Until next time
Stephanie
Friday, January 4, 2008
Monday, November 5, 2007
Charlie and Time Out
Poor little Charlie. He has had such a hard time learning to behave. Yesterday someone asked him how old he was and he replied "15".
Yes, 5 going on 15!
His Kindergarten teacher is amazed at how smart he is, but because he talks incessently and likes to be the class clown, he comes home every day with a Red Face. We told him that when he came home with a Green Face for behaving well, we would celebrate. Last week he got 2 green faces!!
After months of trying every form of punishment we could think of, Charlie's counselor gave us a few hints on Time Out. There had been weekends at our house when he was in Time Out more than not, but the new methods seem to be working better.
Last night I sat in the yard swing with Annie and Charlie came along with a worm to tease Annie with. I asked Charlie if that was a nice thing or a mean thing, and he agreed that it was mean. I didn't have the timer handy for Time Out, so I let him go back to his play.
About 10 minutes later, Charlie came back and handed me the timer.
"What is this for?" I asked him.
"Because I teased Annie with the worm," he replied.
"So you think you need Time Out?" I asked him.
"Yes" he said, quite seriously.
"OK then, sit on that bench" I told him as I set the timer.
He sat there quietly until the timer rang, and as I sat there continuing my conversation with Annie, I couldn't believe what had just transpired.
Prior to the new Time Out techniques, we would send Charlie to a place in the hall, where he would sit until we let him up. We did not have a set amount of time, and when he got up we would talk to him about what he had done wrong. When we asked "what did you do wrong", he would tell us. When we asked "what should you have done", he would tell us. He knew what was right, he just couldn't make himself do it. Then we would give hugs and send him off to apologize and give hugs to whomever he had offended.
The counselor suggested that we send him to Time Out without talking about what he did wrong - he knew exactly what he had done wrong. Then we set timer - one of those old fashioned kind that you can hear ticking - for 5 minutes (one minute of each year of age).
If he fusses or messes around, we say "because you are not sitting quietly, I have to start the time over", and we set the timer back to 5 minutes. When the timer rings, he knows he can get up and go again.
Now, the counselor warned us that at first he would resist the new procedures, and boy was she right! Such simple little changes threw a wrench into his plan. He knew he would no longer get the hugs and extended attention that discussing what he had done wrong would bring. For the first couple of weeks he fussed and messed around, something he had not done previously.
After a couple of weeks he adjusted to the new routine, although he occasionally finds something to play with and suffers the consequences of having the timer re-started.
We really appreciate Charlie's Kindergarten teacher. She is patiently working with him and with us as we work on Charlie's behavior. All his little life has been nothing but trauma, but with the help of his teachers and counselors, a stable home environment and the love and affection of so many people, Charlie is coming around.
A couple of weeks ago, when Charlie came home with yet another Red Face, Randy asked him what he had done.
"They were doing numbers, and I already know my numbers," Charlie said. Yes, there may be times that he is a little ahead of the other kids in his class. But, he has to learn to control himself. If he does not learn now, it will be harder to learn as he grows older.
Charlie is so smart that he will be able to do anything he sets his mind to. If he can learn self-control now, he will have a much brighter future.
Thank you, Miss Catherine, for being another Angel to Charlie!
Stephanie
Yes, 5 going on 15!
His Kindergarten teacher is amazed at how smart he is, but because he talks incessently and likes to be the class clown, he comes home every day with a Red Face. We told him that when he came home with a Green Face for behaving well, we would celebrate. Last week he got 2 green faces!!
After months of trying every form of punishment we could think of, Charlie's counselor gave us a few hints on Time Out. There had been weekends at our house when he was in Time Out more than not, but the new methods seem to be working better.
Last night I sat in the yard swing with Annie and Charlie came along with a worm to tease Annie with. I asked Charlie if that was a nice thing or a mean thing, and he agreed that it was mean. I didn't have the timer handy for Time Out, so I let him go back to his play.
About 10 minutes later, Charlie came back and handed me the timer.
"What is this for?" I asked him.
"Because I teased Annie with the worm," he replied.
"So you think you need Time Out?" I asked him.
"Yes" he said, quite seriously.
"OK then, sit on that bench" I told him as I set the timer.
He sat there quietly until the timer rang, and as I sat there continuing my conversation with Annie, I couldn't believe what had just transpired.
Prior to the new Time Out techniques, we would send Charlie to a place in the hall, where he would sit until we let him up. We did not have a set amount of time, and when he got up we would talk to him about what he had done wrong. When we asked "what did you do wrong", he would tell us. When we asked "what should you have done", he would tell us. He knew what was right, he just couldn't make himself do it. Then we would give hugs and send him off to apologize and give hugs to whomever he had offended.
The counselor suggested that we send him to Time Out without talking about what he did wrong - he knew exactly what he had done wrong. Then we set timer - one of those old fashioned kind that you can hear ticking - for 5 minutes (one minute of each year of age).
If he fusses or messes around, we say "because you are not sitting quietly, I have to start the time over", and we set the timer back to 5 minutes. When the timer rings, he knows he can get up and go again.
Now, the counselor warned us that at first he would resist the new procedures, and boy was she right! Such simple little changes threw a wrench into his plan. He knew he would no longer get the hugs and extended attention that discussing what he had done wrong would bring. For the first couple of weeks he fussed and messed around, something he had not done previously.
After a couple of weeks he adjusted to the new routine, although he occasionally finds something to play with and suffers the consequences of having the timer re-started.
We really appreciate Charlie's Kindergarten teacher. She is patiently working with him and with us as we work on Charlie's behavior. All his little life has been nothing but trauma, but with the help of his teachers and counselors, a stable home environment and the love and affection of so many people, Charlie is coming around.
A couple of weeks ago, when Charlie came home with yet another Red Face, Randy asked him what he had done.
"They were doing numbers, and I already know my numbers," Charlie said. Yes, there may be times that he is a little ahead of the other kids in his class. But, he has to learn to control himself. If he does not learn now, it will be harder to learn as he grows older.
Charlie is so smart that he will be able to do anything he sets his mind to. If he can learn self-control now, he will have a much brighter future.
Thank you, Miss Catherine, for being another Angel to Charlie!
Stephanie
Monday, October 29, 2007
California vs. New Orleans
Watching the news of the California fires, I cannot imagine the horrible feelings that must come with seeing your home in ashes, along with all your personal treasures and memories. The further scope of whole neighborhoods and the destruction that fire leaves behind must be absolutely devastating. My heart goes out to all of those who go "home" to face this horrible scene.
Listening to the politicians and news commentators has stirred some emotions in me, and I am sure in others as well. Our close association with a family from New Orleans has given us an insight into what really happened in New Orleans and the politicians and politics involved.
How can anyone in any possible way, draw parallels with the San Diego and other California fires, with what happened in New Orleans and the response by local, state and federal entities?
Here are some of my thoughts:
Will the insurance companies rule that the homes in California were destroyed by something other than fire? Following Katrina, it was wind damage vs. water damage - whichever one the insurance company conveniently did not cover.
Did California offer evacuation methods to those who could not get out by themselves? At last count there are 8 people from 2 immigrant worker camps who died in California. Were these people offered a way out? Or were they "overlooked"? Sure is ironic how quickly they discovered the bodies after not knowing they were there (or did they?).
The Republicans say that Governor Blanco did not ask for help. I remember clearly seeing and hearing her on TV in the days following Katrina, in tears begging for help.
Even if the Governor Blanco had not asked for assistance, does the Federal Government have no heart? There was no possible way for them to override the state and get help to people stranded in New Orleans? Let's be real!
Did California, FEMA, and the Bush administration learn lessons from Katrina? Or is there simply a different attitude towards people who live in mansions in Malibu vs. working class black people who lived in New Orleans?
How much did politics play in these two disasters? Did a Republican governor use the disaster as an opportunity as a photo op with the President? While a Republican administration balked at looking like they might be cooperating with a Democrat in Louisiana?
Who paid for all the massages, acupuncture, TV's, internet availability, etc, etc, etc, in San Diego? Where have all those people been disbursed to? Who is paying for their boarding until the insurance companies annie up?
The people in the Superdome in New Orleans only wanted water, food, a bathroom, and a way out through the floodwaters. They had no desire for acupuncture and no expectations of anything more than survival.
While we may not be privy to all the details and all the plays of politics, the end results are very clear. When we have a disaster of any magnitude there is no room for politics.
This country must come together. We cannot afford to be "Red" or "Blue". Who cares what "political colored party" I belong to - this is a country of human beings, and no one human being is more important than another.
Just yesterday someone commented to us that "all those people in the 9th Ward of New Orleans were on welfare". So, does that include Fats Domino? His home is in the 9th Ward. Who owned all those 350,000 or so homes that were under water? Why don't people want to take the time to learn the facts?
There is a major man-hunt to find the culprits who set the fires in California. Who is being held responsible for the levies that had not been maintained?
Who is propagating all the mis-information and prejudice? Is it all those idiots on the radio who spew hatred over the airwaves? Or the naive people listening who think these radio show hosts are really telling them the truth? Or the politicians who say one thing and do another (as if we aren't watching!)? Or is it that we really aren't watching and paying attention and seeking out the truth. Are we so hypnotized by the media and the government that we believe everything we hear?
Just some things to think about - - and another blog you might like to read: http://organizedrage.blogspot.com/2007/10/tale-of-two-cities-and-vicious-class.html
Stephanie
Listening to the politicians and news commentators has stirred some emotions in me, and I am sure in others as well. Our close association with a family from New Orleans has given us an insight into what really happened in New Orleans and the politicians and politics involved.
How can anyone in any possible way, draw parallels with the San Diego and other California fires, with what happened in New Orleans and the response by local, state and federal entities?
Here are some of my thoughts:
Will the insurance companies rule that the homes in California were destroyed by something other than fire? Following Katrina, it was wind damage vs. water damage - whichever one the insurance company conveniently did not cover.
Did California offer evacuation methods to those who could not get out by themselves? At last count there are 8 people from 2 immigrant worker camps who died in California. Were these people offered a way out? Or were they "overlooked"? Sure is ironic how quickly they discovered the bodies after not knowing they were there (or did they?).
The Republicans say that Governor Blanco did not ask for help. I remember clearly seeing and hearing her on TV in the days following Katrina, in tears begging for help.
Even if the Governor Blanco had not asked for assistance, does the Federal Government have no heart? There was no possible way for them to override the state and get help to people stranded in New Orleans? Let's be real!
Did California, FEMA, and the Bush administration learn lessons from Katrina? Or is there simply a different attitude towards people who live in mansions in Malibu vs. working class black people who lived in New Orleans?
How much did politics play in these two disasters? Did a Republican governor use the disaster as an opportunity as a photo op with the President? While a Republican administration balked at looking like they might be cooperating with a Democrat in Louisiana?
Who paid for all the massages, acupuncture, TV's, internet availability, etc, etc, etc, in San Diego? Where have all those people been disbursed to? Who is paying for their boarding until the insurance companies annie up?
The people in the Superdome in New Orleans only wanted water, food, a bathroom, and a way out through the floodwaters. They had no desire for acupuncture and no expectations of anything more than survival.
While we may not be privy to all the details and all the plays of politics, the end results are very clear. When we have a disaster of any magnitude there is no room for politics.
This country must come together. We cannot afford to be "Red" or "Blue". Who cares what "political colored party" I belong to - this is a country of human beings, and no one human being is more important than another.
Just yesterday someone commented to us that "all those people in the 9th Ward of New Orleans were on welfare". So, does that include Fats Domino? His home is in the 9th Ward. Who owned all those 350,000 or so homes that were under water? Why don't people want to take the time to learn the facts?
There is a major man-hunt to find the culprits who set the fires in California. Who is being held responsible for the levies that had not been maintained?
Who is propagating all the mis-information and prejudice? Is it all those idiots on the radio who spew hatred over the airwaves? Or the naive people listening who think these radio show hosts are really telling them the truth? Or the politicians who say one thing and do another (as if we aren't watching!)? Or is it that we really aren't watching and paying attention and seeking out the truth. Are we so hypnotized by the media and the government that we believe everything we hear?
Just some things to think about - - and another blog you might like to read: http://organizedrage.blogspot.com/2007/10/tale-of-two-cities-and-vicious-class.html
Stephanie
Friday, October 19, 2007
Halloween is almost here!
Last year was the first time that the kids had Halloween costumes and experienced the fun of Trick-or-Treating. They were a little shy about it at first, but this year they are plotting and planning already.
I scoured ebay for some inexpensive costumes as they have grown so much they have outgrown last year's outfits.
This year, Marquel wants a Princess dress, Anthonyione wants a "new" witch outfit, Charlie wants to be Spiderman, and Chip is getting a Tigger costume. Our little town of Bulverde has an all day Halloween event on October 27th, the neighbors are having a party that evening, and our church is hosting a Trunk-or-Treat for the kids on Sunday.
Check back for pictures from this year's festivities!
What else has been happening recently?
Chip is starting to talk really well. Sometimes he surprises himself by getting the words out clearly. After 2 years of carefull study and observation of his brother and sisters, he is ready to roll!
Charlie's Kindergarten teacher is amazed at how smart he is. Even when it seems he is not paying attention, he can repeat what she just said (one of those survival techniques we have noticed with all 3 of the older kids). He talks incessently and has a hard time sitting still, but slowly we see progress as he calms down and learns to control himself.
Annie loves to learn. She has a stack of 2nd grade workbooks that she works on constantly. First thing in the morning she gets them out, and I have to take them away from her at night so she will go to sleep. She would rather do that than watch Disney Channel, and if she is punished by not being able to play on the computer, the books are her next favorite thing.
Marquel is really catching up fast on her studies. She is a little behind in reading and reading comprehension, but we had another Angel come to our aid! A neighbor is an English teacher and offered to tutor Marquel. Thank you, Margaret, we will take you up on this offer!
Turk turned 70 on October 2nd (although he really doesn't want everyone to know that!!) He took the 7 and 0 candles off his cake and replaced them with 3 regular candles. The 3 candles represent Past, Present and Future. We think this is a nice tradition!
Every Friday I drive across town to take them to their counseling. It makes for a long day, but I feel it is very worth it. The Post Traumatic Stress is a very serious thing, and we cannot assume that they will get better on their own. If we want to give them the best future possible, it has to be confronted and overcome (as much as possible) now. These kids will never forget what they have seen and lived through, but hopefully by giving them some coping mechanisms, they can learn to live with the sights and sounds that replay in their minds. Turk says that Marquel in particular will say "Dad, remember . . ." and recount a memory that she has. I encouraged Turk to talk it over with her, to reassure the kids and to help them all talk through the grief and loss that they have experienced.
Until next time . . .
Stephanie
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
2 TV Interviews on 2nd Anniversary of Katrina
August 29th, 2007, the 2nd anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, I was invited to give a live interview on San Antonio's KABB Fox 29 Morning Show! Thank you JT and Kimberly for a really nice job!
A huge thank-you to Miseal Gomez from San Antonio's KSAT 12, the local ABC affiliate. We met Miseal on the first anniversary of Katrina, when Family Services arranged an interview for the evening news. Over the past year, Miseal has kept in touch with Mr. Thornton, and we have had the pleasure of meeting his wife and two beautiful girls.
We were honored that Miseal came out again this year to do a follow up story, and very pleased with the way the story was presented. It was featured on the 5:00 news, immediately following Oprah's Katrina anniversary show.
I feel we were given a great gift with this publicity, and know that good things will come from it!
See both interviews by clicking here: http://eagleswingspublications.com/01a_video.html (if you have a dial-up connection, it will take a very long time for the videos to download)
Enjoy!
Stephanie
A huge thank-you to Miseal Gomez from San Antonio's KSAT 12, the local ABC affiliate. We met Miseal on the first anniversary of Katrina, when Family Services arranged an interview for the evening news. Over the past year, Miseal has kept in touch with Mr. Thornton, and we have had the pleasure of meeting his wife and two beautiful girls.
We were honored that Miseal came out again this year to do a follow up story, and very pleased with the way the story was presented. It was featured on the 5:00 news, immediately following Oprah's Katrina anniversary show.
I feel we were given a great gift with this publicity, and know that good things will come from it!
See both interviews by clicking here: http://eagleswingspublications.com/01a_video.html (if you have a dial-up connection, it will take a very long time for the videos to download)
Enjoy!
Stephanie
Monday, August 27, 2007
First Day of School!
After the huge fiasco last year with getting the kids enrolled in school, this year went smoothly. The new school was very accomodating, as I took the kids to registration while their Father had to be in New Orleans tending to his very ill sisters.
The school allowed me to register the kids without their Father's signature on the paperwork. Last Friday Turk took the kids to school for "Meet Your Teacher" time. This was an excellent idea, as Marquel had heard that her teacher was "mean". Meeting her and getting to know her put Marquel at ease. She understands now that there is a difference between being "firm" and being "mean".
Last night, Anthonyione ("Annie") told her Father that she couldn't wait until bedtime, because she knew when she woke up she would be able to go to school! What a huge success story for these kids. But let me explain why:
Last year as I helped Marquel study for her 3rd grade achievement tests, I asked her about going to school in New Orleans. She looked at me blankly and said "I didn't go to school in New Orleans". The other night as the kids sat around our table eating dinner, Charlie talked excitedly about going to Kindergarten.
"I wish I could have gone to Kindergarten," Annie said rather wistfully.
With Turk there, we asked him about Annie and Marquel's comments. "What do you mean, you didn't go to school?" he asked them, rather incredulously. "Don't you remember I picked you up every day. Remember I took you to my office where I had the back room made into a playroom for you?"
The girls sat looking blankely at him. Once again we are reminded of the effects of generational poverty. In the matiorchal family, Mom doesn't care if her kids are educated. In fact, it is a threat to her. Couple this with the probable lack of resources in the New Orleans public schools, and school was at the very best "unmemorable" for these kids.
What a great milestone we have seen them achieve. They know their Father will come to school to check on them. He will help them with their homework. He will be there when they get off the bus. They are learning that school is important as they begin to think about "what they want to be when they grow up."
Until next time!
Stephanie
The school allowed me to register the kids without their Father's signature on the paperwork. Last Friday Turk took the kids to school for "Meet Your Teacher" time. This was an excellent idea, as Marquel had heard that her teacher was "mean". Meeting her and getting to know her put Marquel at ease. She understands now that there is a difference between being "firm" and being "mean".
Last night, Anthonyione ("Annie") told her Father that she couldn't wait until bedtime, because she knew when she woke up she would be able to go to school! What a huge success story for these kids. But let me explain why:
Last year as I helped Marquel study for her 3rd grade achievement tests, I asked her about going to school in New Orleans. She looked at me blankly and said "I didn't go to school in New Orleans". The other night as the kids sat around our table eating dinner, Charlie talked excitedly about going to Kindergarten.
"I wish I could have gone to Kindergarten," Annie said rather wistfully.
With Turk there, we asked him about Annie and Marquel's comments. "What do you mean, you didn't go to school?" he asked them, rather incredulously. "Don't you remember I picked you up every day. Remember I took you to my office where I had the back room made into a playroom for you?"
The girls sat looking blankely at him. Once again we are reminded of the effects of generational poverty. In the matiorchal family, Mom doesn't care if her kids are educated. In fact, it is a threat to her. Couple this with the probable lack of resources in the New Orleans public schools, and school was at the very best "unmemorable" for these kids.
What a great milestone we have seen them achieve. They know their Father will come to school to check on them. He will help them with their homework. He will be there when they get off the bus. They are learning that school is important as they begin to think about "what they want to be when they grow up."
Until next time!
Stephanie
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Why did I write this book?
As time went by following Hurricane Katrina, and we talked with more people, we began to hear a recurring story. We saw and heard from many very good hearted people who were trying to do what they could to help in various ways, but were left feeling betrayed when the recipient did not act or react in the way that was expected. We heard questions such as, “Why didn’t they evacuate?” or comments such as “this type of people take and take.” It is our fear that many people were turned off and will not be willing to lend a helping hand the future.
When we volunteered to help out for a week at a shelter, it was explained to us that as families were selected and brought to the shelter, there would be “Sponsors” ready and waiting to help the family relocate. As the days went by it seemed to us that this may have been the plan, but it had not materialized. During that week we developed a relationship with the Thornton family and when we were approached to “Sponsor” them, we felt that we were in the best position and willing to accept the challenge. We had no idea where to begin or how to go about helping them in the most effective way. There were many times we stumbled along with no one to turn to for advice, feeling very inadequate and not knowing if what we were doing was the right or best thing to do.
The book began as a diary. When I let a friend read it, she came back with many good questions along the lines of “how did we know what to do?” The answer was that we didn’t know, but in the process we had learned many valuable lessons. We had to confront head-on many things that we had chosen to ignore, not wanting to know about or deal with.
As we discussed the idea of publishing a book, we knew that there would be those who would have strong reactions on various issues that the book and the Katrina story presented overall. Our hope is that in telling this story, including the good, the bad, and the ugly, that it would encourage others to think about the issues in a different light and hopefully learn from our experiences, mistakes and all.
The intent of this book was not to pat ourselves on the back for what we did or attempted to do – we know we could have done far more, and been far more effective in many situations. If it were the case that we were/are “doing charitable deeds before men” then we would have omitted all the bungled missteps and embarrassing moments. It was very difficult to hand over the first copy of the book, to put our life out there for others to read about. Our initial reaction was “what have we done?” Even our closest friends have said, “I had no idea. . . ” The intent of this book is solely to pass along an experience in dealing with a generation poverty situation, and hopefully spur another line of thought for people who feel that victims should “do more for themselves.”
The Thornton family has humbled us in so many ways. Our friends, family, and church have been extremely supportive of our efforts; they are the true heroes in this story. Along with us, they have fallen in love with these little kids, doting on them and making sure that they have what they need. If anyone deserves a pat on the back, it is all the “Angels” who gave us support in many different ways. Whether they realize it or not, they are helping us break the cycle of poverty in our society.
As the search began for a publisher, it quickly became apparent that this was an exercise in futility. If you are fortunate enough to get the attention of a publisher, it may take years to get a book in print. When we were approached with the idea that the book could be used as a tool to help us solve the long-term housing dilemma for this family, I chose the self-publishing route. I knew that I would not have the benefit of a publisher to “polish” the story. The book is not intended to be a great work of literature; it is a story that I tried to present it in a straightforward, easy to read way. Successful marketing and promotion of a book requires the author be in the spotlight, even when they prefer otherwise.
If this book encourages the readers to look within themselves, and to begin to think about what they can do to educate themselves on how to help those around them more effectively, then I feel my goal has been met. If it evokes a strong emotion or reaction, whether positive or seems to be negative, that is good, because it has made the reader think.
Stephanie
When we volunteered to help out for a week at a shelter, it was explained to us that as families were selected and brought to the shelter, there would be “Sponsors” ready and waiting to help the family relocate. As the days went by it seemed to us that this may have been the plan, but it had not materialized. During that week we developed a relationship with the Thornton family and when we were approached to “Sponsor” them, we felt that we were in the best position and willing to accept the challenge. We had no idea where to begin or how to go about helping them in the most effective way. There were many times we stumbled along with no one to turn to for advice, feeling very inadequate and not knowing if what we were doing was the right or best thing to do.
The book began as a diary. When I let a friend read it, she came back with many good questions along the lines of “how did we know what to do?” The answer was that we didn’t know, but in the process we had learned many valuable lessons. We had to confront head-on many things that we had chosen to ignore, not wanting to know about or deal with.
As we discussed the idea of publishing a book, we knew that there would be those who would have strong reactions on various issues that the book and the Katrina story presented overall. Our hope is that in telling this story, including the good, the bad, and the ugly, that it would encourage others to think about the issues in a different light and hopefully learn from our experiences, mistakes and all.
The intent of this book was not to pat ourselves on the back for what we did or attempted to do – we know we could have done far more, and been far more effective in many situations. If it were the case that we were/are “doing charitable deeds before men” then we would have omitted all the bungled missteps and embarrassing moments. It was very difficult to hand over the first copy of the book, to put our life out there for others to read about. Our initial reaction was “what have we done?” Even our closest friends have said, “I had no idea. . . ” The intent of this book is solely to pass along an experience in dealing with a generation poverty situation, and hopefully spur another line of thought for people who feel that victims should “do more for themselves.”
The Thornton family has humbled us in so many ways. Our friends, family, and church have been extremely supportive of our efforts; they are the true heroes in this story. Along with us, they have fallen in love with these little kids, doting on them and making sure that they have what they need. If anyone deserves a pat on the back, it is all the “Angels” who gave us support in many different ways. Whether they realize it or not, they are helping us break the cycle of poverty in our society.
As the search began for a publisher, it quickly became apparent that this was an exercise in futility. If you are fortunate enough to get the attention of a publisher, it may take years to get a book in print. When we were approached with the idea that the book could be used as a tool to help us solve the long-term housing dilemma for this family, I chose the self-publishing route. I knew that I would not have the benefit of a publisher to “polish” the story. The book is not intended to be a great work of literature; it is a story that I tried to present it in a straightforward, easy to read way. Successful marketing and promotion of a book requires the author be in the spotlight, even when they prefer otherwise.
If this book encourages the readers to look within themselves, and to begin to think about what they can do to educate themselves on how to help those around them more effectively, then I feel my goal has been met. If it evokes a strong emotion or reaction, whether positive or seems to be negative, that is good, because it has made the reader think.
Stephanie
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